A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:

Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????

Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.

The woman started crying

Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!! !!!!!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck !

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

SO BEWARE OF WHAT YOU ASK FOR !!!

HIS

1. Pull up to ATM


2. Insert card


3. Enter PIN number and account


4. Take cash, card and receipt

HER

1. Pull up to ATM


2. Check makeup in rear view mirror


3. Shut off engine


4. Put keys in purse


5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine


6. Hunt for card in purse


7. Insert card


8. Hunt in purse for wrapper with PIN number written on it


9. Enter PIN number


10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.


11. Hit "cancel"


12. Re-enter correct PIN number


13. Check balance


14. Look for envelope


15. Look in purse for pen


16. Make out deposit slip


17. Endorse checks


18. Make deposit


19. Study instructions


20. Make cash withdrawal


21. Get in car


22. Check makeup


23. Look for keys


24. Start car


25. Check makeup


26. Start pulling away


27. STOP


28. Back up to machine


29. Get out of car


30. Take card and receipt


31. Get back in car


32. Put card in wallet


33. Put receipt in checkbook


34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook


35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook


36. Check makeup


37. Put car in gear, reverse


38. Put car in drive


39. Drive away from machine


40. Travel 3 miles


41. Release parking brake

11 signs that ur in love

ELEVEN
You walk really slow when you're with them.

TEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.

NINE:
You smile when you hear their voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at them, you can't see the other
people around you, you just see him/her.

SIX:
They're all you think about.

FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're
looking at them.

FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just to see them.

THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your
mind this whole time.

TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you
didn't notice number seven was missing

ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently
laughing at yourself.

send this (link) to at lest 5 people in the next 10 min.

And something good will happen.
Because you read this you will get kissed on
Friday. BREAK IT and your crush will ask someone else out.

Tomorrow will be the best day of you life.

Note: I've deleted the rest of the unwanted text. Cheers.
So that you have the pleasure of just going through the email.