Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
...... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar: liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside.
So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said , he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:

Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
"chal daru la"…bring booze..sure helps!

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

A for apple.

B for bada apple.

C for chhota apple.

D for dusra apple.

E for ek aur apple.

F for fokat ka apple.

G for gol apple.

H for hazar apple

I for itney saarey apple?

J for jaao nahi khaana hai apple

K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple

L for lena padhega tumko apple

M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple

N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple

O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple

P for peth bhar Ke khaao apple

Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple

R for roz agar khaao tum apple

S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple

T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple

U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple

V for very tasty hai yeh apple

W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple

X for X'mas mei bhii khane padenge apple

Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple

Z for zaroor dil bhar gaya hoga khake itne saare apple

Note: This is not a nursery rhyme and should not be used as one too. This is just a time past article.

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck !

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

SO BEWARE OF WHAT YOU ASK FOR !!!

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room.

One candidate is Santa Singh an Indian (Punjabi) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Santa says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'.

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Santa says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Santa says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Santa says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.

Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' Calmly, Santa turns to the other candidate and says

'Hor Phaphe ki haal chaal?.'

The other candidate answers

'O Vadiya veere, tu Sunna'

HIS

1. Pull up to ATM


2. Insert card


3. Enter PIN number and account


4. Take cash, card and receipt

HER

1. Pull up to ATM


2. Check makeup in rear view mirror


3. Shut off engine


4. Put keys in purse


5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine


6. Hunt for card in purse


7. Insert card


8. Hunt in purse for wrapper with PIN number written on it


9. Enter PIN number


10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.


11. Hit "cancel"


12. Re-enter correct PIN number


13. Check balance


14. Look for envelope


15. Look in purse for pen


16. Make out deposit slip


17. Endorse checks


18. Make deposit


19. Study instructions


20. Make cash withdrawal


21. Get in car


22. Check makeup


23. Look for keys


24. Start car


25. Check makeup


26. Start pulling away


27. STOP


28. Back up to machine


29. Get out of car


30. Take card and receipt


31. Get back in car


32. Put card in wallet


33. Put receipt in checkbook


34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook


35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook


36. Check makeup


37. Put car in gear, reverse


38. Put car in drive


39. Drive away from machine


40. Travel 3 miles


41. Release parking brake

11 signs that ur in love

ELEVEN
You walk really slow when you're with them.

TEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.

NINE:
You smile when you hear their voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at them, you can't see the other
people around you, you just see him/her.

SIX:
They're all you think about.

FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're
looking at them.

FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just to see them.

THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your
mind this whole time.

TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you
didn't notice number seven was missing

ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently
laughing at yourself.

send this (link) to at lest 5 people in the next 10 min.

And something good will happen.
Because you read this you will get kissed on
Friday. BREAK IT and your crush will ask someone else out.

Tomorrow will be the best day of you life.

Note: I've deleted the rest of the unwanted text. Cheers.
So that you have the pleasure of just going through the email.